Jeff Buckley’s “Lover You Should’ve Come Over”, from his only studio album “Grace”, is a song about loving and losing that dear someone, waiting for their return and the crippling sense of what could have been. It is a song of childish mistakes, a sea full of regrets and the frustration of being too late. With its ethereal sounds, Buckley creates a beautifully heartbreaking atmosphere.
The song starts out with a funeral scene that can be interpreted as the end of a relationship, in which Buckley is an outside observer. He goes on to put the blame of the breakup on his own immaturities. He sings, “Maybe I’m too young to keep good love from going wrong,” indicating that he realizes the pattern of bad relations he finds himself in and considers himself guilty for his impulsive decisions.
The mourning of the loss of love, longing that turns into obsession, and the joy and pain of it. Buckley combines the youth driven mistakes, regret that comes afterwards, and the pleading for something lost in his 7 minutes of yearning. “Too young to hold on / And too old to just break free and run,”. He seems aware of his youth and its negatives, and he almost uses it as a shield to protect himself from his own mistakes. He realizes that his carelessness caused him the most important thing to him. This line serves as both an acceptance and a denial of his mistakes. He is right in the middle of his youth and his maturity.
The ever-longing emotional purgatory that he is in and the never-ending wait for the object of his desires. “So, I’ll wait for you, and I’ll burn / Will I ever see your sweet return? / Oh, will I ever learn?”. Instead of moving on and working on himself, he is in this static mindset of waiting and remorse.
The song title is in itself a very heartbreaking line; he pleads for his lover, in despair to mend the past and fix what he has broken. He sings, “Lover, you should’ve come over /
‘Cause it’s not too late,”. Desperate words of a yearning, broken man with nothing but a glimpse of hope to hold on to, the illusion of hope he created himself. His vulnerability in these lines and his unfiltered begging truly shows how intense everything he feels is.
After mentioning losing sleep over his unmet desires, he sings, “It’s never over / My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder,”. His longing is too strong for him to accept that it really is over, his lover has moved on. He repeats “it’s never over” and “it’s not too late” throughout the song as if he is proving and reminding himself that he might make amends someday. His refusal of the fact that their relationship is over sets the tone for the entire song. He then makes a reference to Shakespeare’s Richard III, “A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”, mirroring King Richard’s desperation when he faces his death and the act of sacrificing anything and everything for his survival, or in this case, a kiss on her shoulder.
“All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter,” the desire to sacrifice everything he has and everything he is, only for a fleeting moment of contentment, which he once had but lost due to his youth and mistakes. All of him, even his blood means nothing without his lover, his love is eternal and divine.
Buckley then goes on to talk about how he cannot shake this feeling towards his lover, “It’s never over, she’s the tear that hangs inside my soul forever,”. His suffering and regrets are represented as the tear, he cannot rid his head of these feelings. His lover is the constant throbbing ache in his heart, and the unrequited love weighs on his soul. He is cursed with desire, and the deep-down knowledge that he will never have his wishes. All he can do is to beg, for forgiveness, for amends, for another chance.
As the song reaches its climax, his frustration with his mistakes become clearer, “Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage I’ve done,”. His remorse for his actions, although vastly overdue, is eating him alive. Knowing that he is the only reason for his intense longing, his heartache, and his object of affection not being there is destroying him.
Buckley ends the song with “Cause it’s not too late”, showing one last glimmer of hope. He leaves an unanswered invitation; although it might seem hopeful, the rest of the song suggests that this is more of an act of mere desperation rather than an open door. He is not expecting a realistic outcome, rather he is leaving the door open for his lover because he must. He has no other option but this act of desperation. He leaves an open door for his lover because he will take her in at any given moment of her choosing. He has no alternatives.
He, all throughout the song, wishes for the heavy feeling on his chest taking his sleep away to leave and the gut-wrenching guilt stealing his thoughts to fade away. But more than anything he needs this intense feeling of wanting and wishing for something he knows, but cannot accept, cannot have to go away. He opens up his soul in a way we all do at one point in our lives.
This song truly shows how yearning is never about long, deep arguments. It is just the simple need of something you cannot have. It is the simplest words that shake you to the core, and the raw feeling of being human. It is the fundamental need that drives actions and thoughts. It is the sentence given to every human being, it is the price you pay in the game of loving and losing.
Asya Arslan
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